As I sat here late last night and into the wee hours of the morning, I had a brain full of stuff that I had to do in the upcoming days. Not everyday is like this, but in this quadrant of time, it is. Writing has not been easy for me most of my life, but in the last year it has been flowing. This week, however, it just wasn’t there. Over the past few days I found myself getting more and more anxious about it – and everything else, for that matter. The more I pushed to figure things out, the more I couldn’t figure anything out.

I’ve had my grand dog Sunny for the past few days as well, so with a puppy in the mix it’s a busy household. I worked on my regular Sunday blog post in my spare bedroom last night, falling asleep at about 2 am with Sunny passed out on his bed beside me. We both woke up at around 7:30 with him raring to go and embrace the day, and me stressed because that blog post still wasn’t done. I was going down the rabbit hole. I needed a reminder of what I teach others to do – to center myself. So I took a moment to reflect and articulate my frustration. There is something about verbalization that really helps us take a step back. I made a quick phone call with my business coach to recalibrate, put on my shoes, grabbed the leash, and let the day unfold.

**

Sunny and I head out down to the beach. It’s not an easy walk. He’s pulling the leash, grabbing my legs, herding me, just being an overall monkey. Part of me wants to just go home, but another part tells me to stay the course.

Our first encounter is with the neighbour that did our gas conversion a few years ago. He stops his yard work to ask how Sunny is doing. “Fine,” I say, “he’s wound up like a top, so we are out for a walk to burn off some puppy energy.” We are renovating our kitchen in November and I ask if he’s able to bring over the gas line for the new stove. I also mention that we have scheduled a mutual contractor-friend to do a deck build, but am still desperately searching for help to do some landscaping and a pool upgrade in our yard next year. Contractors are in such short of supply these days, they are all so busy, booking well into next summer.

“Take a look at what I’ve done in my yard,” he says. We walk to the back of the house and I’m blown away. It looks fantastic.

Half-jokingly, I prod, “Would you be interested in doing mine!?”

“Sure.” He responds.

I feel like I just won the lottery. The day definitely looking up.

We arrive at the beach and meet a couple going out for a kayak and paddle board excursion. Sunny has been on a paddle board and loves it. It’s warming up now, so I take off my hoodie, inadvertently dropping the leash and off Sunny goes down the beach, galloping towards the paddle-boarding strangers. Fortunately, he ran right to the fella and he was able to grab the leash for me. Complete panic averted, but my frustration re-emerged. I head back up the laneway to make my way home. I’m done. Annoyed that I hadn’t finished my post, at Sunny for being his puppy-self. I’m tired and haven’t eaten enough. I completely forget the fact that I secured a contractor for next spring and how excited I was just moments ago.

As we make our way up the hill, frustration compounds as I realize that I dropped his poop bag somewhere between the beach and here.

“Well shit.”

Better go back and find the bag before someone else does.

I trace my steps back to the beach. Then something happens.

I stop and take a moment to surrender to the day such as it is; the good, the bad, the annoying. I decide I might as well enjoy the view since we’re back here, so make our way home along the shore.

In the distance, I see a few dogs bounding around on the beach and realize their owners are people I know. For the next hour and a half Sunny joins the fun. The dogs are all loose, playing in the water. Us humans sit on the sand, taking in a glorious day, sharing stories and watching the dogs and their pure joy. Life is really good in this moment. I think, wow, what a difference between now and 2 hours ago. I am no longer annoyed, stressed or pushing myself to figure out what to write. I am content. I am present.

We depart from the beach, walking the gravelly edge of tree lined streets. Sunny slows down as we pass my friend’s house. She has two dogs, and it is now customary for him to pause in front of her home, as do her dogs at mine. She happens to see me and asks if we’d like stay for a visit. I would love to but my stomach is growling, I hadn’t planned on being out so long. She looks at Sunny, “Would you like to leave him here? The dogs can play in the yard while I mow the lawn and you can pick him up after you eat.”

“I don’t know what to say. I did not expect this, but yes, that would be great!”

I walk the final stretch home on my own. Beaming.

**

I have high standards and am very hard on myself when I don’t deliver. I also have a hard time relaxing, and at times, being present and accepting more joy into my life. I sometimes forget for a moment, particularly, when I am not at my best, tired, hav­en’t eaten properly or have been keeping a pace that is unrealistic for me, that my soul has wisdom that I can draw on to guide me.

I was resisting myself and my inner wisdom, and that resistance caused my frustration, stress and inability see what was really going on and to do anything about it. There was no way I was going to enjoy the day or complete any of my tasks in that state of mind. If it weren’t for a dog walk and a phone call I may still be stuck there. Today’s post may be a day late, but that’s ok. May it serve as a reminder to pause and listen to what your inner wisdom is trying to tell you, to consider why things are unfolding the way they are and just go with it. You may find the unexpected route to your destination is the better one, after all.